TruthCatcher Legacy Part V: Fall of the Guardian

"Those without the gate frequently question the wisdom and right of the occultist to guard his knowledge by the imposition of oaths of secrecy. We are so accustomed to see the scientist give his beneficent discoveries freely to all mankind that we feel that humanity is wronged and defrauded if any knowledge be kept secret by its discoverers and not at once made available for all who desire to share in it.
The knowledge is reserved in order that humanity may be protected from its abuse at the hands of the unscrupulous. Anyone who understands the nature of the Secret Science and the powers it bestows will see the need for such precaution."
Sacred Datacron of the First Ones

All was falling apart.

The first explosion had hit me while I was trying to reach the second floor of the ancient building. It threw me off my feet. For a while I couldn't see. I couldn't hear. I couldn't feel.

The second explosion brought me back to my senses. But still I could barely see. And this strange dumbness on my face and my right hand. Oh, by the Stars. So much pain. And Enif? Where was she? Oh, No. Please, no.

Then I've seen her at the bottom of the stairs. She was lying unconscious and a few ugly creatures were moving towards her. No, I cried trying to sit up. I will not let you touch her! I reached through the Force and pushed the first group away. But there were so many of them. Throwing my lightsaber to the ugliest and biggest one whom I sensed to be the leader of the herd I drained the last strength left in my veins and leapt down the stairs. I covered her body with mine praying my armour could absorb the coming shock that I was sensing. Then came the third explosion. Flames swept over us swallowing everything above. I raised my head and checked the second floor entrance. It looked clear for the moment. There was blood all over Enif. She had been cut severely and lost already too much blood. I had to make a choice. Blast it! Giving up the last hope of reaching the gate I took Enif in my arms and turned back to face the exit. Hold on, my dear friend, I whispered to her ear. A Sith is best at surviving after all, huh? Stay with me. I will not give up on you yet. Keep breathing. Just keep breathing.

Suddenly I sensed 2 familiar figures approaching in the Force. Su Jena and.. Master Shayleen! The Force had finally smiled on me at the last minute. Master Shayleen was the legendary healer amoung the Jedi. There were rumours that she could even turn dead Bantha back to life.

'Master!' I cried. 'Please, help her. She is barely breathing'.

Master Shayleen had that serious look on her face which could only mean one of the kids tonight would get the most boring meditation punishment before going to bed.

'What are you up to again, my very young apprentice?' She queried while trying to get a close look at Enif.

'Trouble, what else could it be?' said Su Jena mocking. 'Oh, a pureblood Sith! What in the name of crushing black holes you're doing with a Sith assasin, Arck?!' She turned to me with fiery eyes and then saw me clearly for the first time. 'Arck..' Dropping her mocking tone she reached to touch my arm. 'Oh, Arck, what happened to.. Your face.." For a moment she looked like that little sweet girl I knew back in the old good days, ready to cry at any moment.

'It's ok, Su' I said touching slightly my right empty eye socket. 'I don't feel anything.' I turned to face Master Shayleen. 'Master, she saved my life many times. I trust in your judgment. Please, do your best for her. I need to go back. This is the best chance I could ever get to reach the gate. I feel so close to it.'

'What?!' interrupted, Su Jena. 'How could you still be thinking of going back?!'

'Stay out of this, Su' I replied calmly. 'I have to finish what I have started. Master Shayleen will understand me. Please, Master.'

Master Shayleen held her gaze deep in my eyes for almost an eternity and then sighed: 'Ok, young one. You have come this far. It is not fair to stop someone who has so much faith and determination to reach a goal. And quite an honorable one seeking the Truth is. But beware! Truth usually comes with a tremendous burden. So few were able to endure it in our known history. Come closer now, let me have a look on you'. Then She took a deep breath and touched my forehead with her right hand. 'May the Force heal your wounds.'

I felt The Force streaming through her fingers into my body and my soul. It felt so good. In less than 9 seconds I had started to feel like reborned. Fresh and ready for whatever dangers still awaiting.

'Thank you, Master.' I whispered.

Now it was time to face the last obstacle on my way. The Oracle in Alderaan had mentioned about an invincible warrior guarding the gate. Well, we were about to see how invincible he was.

I reached the top floor without further event. Here the interior had been designed as a reversed pyramid with a cap. On each corner there was a huge statue of a human male or female body but the head part resembling some strange unknown species. I could see a dim light on the other side of the hall.

'This is the funniest bird I've ever seen. Reminds me Master Kiwilik in a way, though. Heh heh.'

'Blast!

'Su, what in the 9 moons are you doing here?! You should have stayed with Master Shayleen. It is too dangerous here.'

I paused a moment and then added: 'And by the way, that's not a bird, how many birds you've seen so far having a <you know what>?!'

She couldn't help blushing. 'Arck! You are so mean !!'

'Peh, if you do not leave now, you will see how mean I could be when I talk about this little incident with Master Kiwilik'

I had this cruel smile on my already deformed face.

'Shut up!!' She countered. 'I may not be as useful as your charming Sith friend but I am not going anywhere without you and you know that very well. So instead of wasting more time I suggest we move on, shall we?'

'Oh, I keep forgetting how stubborn you sometimes could be. But you'll regret this I tell you. Wait till we return...'

We both felt it.

A disturbance in the Force. A very strong one.

'Watch your step, Su. This must be the Guardian of the Gate.'

The door at the other side of the hall opened up slowly and a tall dark figure emerged from the shadows.

'But.. That mask.. No, it cannot be. He couldn't be. How so..'

'Revan' Su Jena cried out.

'Holy Stars!!!'


to be continued-

Huzursuz

Barın kapısına sol eliyle sertçe vurup içeri giren genç bir adam görürüz ilk sahnede. Dışarıda hafif bir yağmur yağmaktadır, içeriye anlamsız bir bakış atıp barmenin önündeki bir tabureye bırakır kendini genç adam. İlgiyle bakar barmen tuhaf siyah şapkanın gölgesinden içine işleyen kahverengi gözlere. Ürperir hafifçe.

“Buyrun” der.

“Ne alırsınız?”

“Votka” der genç adam.

“varsa limon ve buz”

Uzunca bir süre sessizce oturur genç adam. Bir şarkı duyulmaktadır içeriden ağır aksak

“Nargilenin dumanına benzer hayallerim.

Sadece beni zehirler ve uçup gider.

Kafilelere benzer insanlar,

bazen seni seyreder ve giderler..”

Sessizliği bozmaya karar verir aniden, uzatır elini barın üzerinden

”Çağdaş”

“Arif” der barmen.

“Memnun oldum”

“Ben de”

“İlk defa geliyorsunuz buraya galiba”

“Evet, genelde caddenin yukarısındaki pub a takılırım, bugün fena kalabalıktı”

Yeni bir müşteri kazandığına sevinip sevinmemekte kararsızdır barmen Arif, genç adam ilgisini çekmiştir çekmesine de, bir de şu siyah şapkanın ardındaki tedirgin edici gözler olmasa.

“Bildiğim bir Arif var” der aniden genç adam, “Ahmed Arif”. Sonra tuhaf bir şey olur, siyah şapkalı genç bir adam gecenin geç bir vaktinde, duvarlarında 70 lerden 80 lerden kalma rock pop ikonlarının posterleri olan bir barda Ahmed Arif ten bir şiir okumaya başlar.

"Doğdun,
Üç gün aç tuttuk
Üç gün meme vermedik sana
Adiloş Bebem,
Hasta düşmeyesin diye,
Töremiz böyle diye,
Saldır şimdi memeye,
Saldır da büyü"

Uzunca bir sessizlik olur barın o tarafında. İnsanlar susmuş, siyah şapkalı tuhaf genç adama bakmaktadır. Hiç oralı görünmeyen genç adamın aksine bakışlardan oldukça rahatsız olan Barmen Arif hızlıca yukarıdaki bira bardaklarından birine uzanır.

Ve birden cam bardak daha Arif ne olduğunu anlamadan onun ve siyah şapkalı genç adamın gözleri önünde patlar. Her şey çok hızlı bir biçimde olup bitmiş, Arif şaşkınlıkla elindeki yarım bira bardağına bakmaktadır. İçeriye girdiğinden beri her şeye şaşırtıcı bir biçimde ilgisiz kalmayı başarabilen genç adam ilk defa ilgiyle bakmaktadır yarım cam bardağa.

Sonra kırılan sadece bardak değil de Arif'le genç adam arasındaki buzlarmış gibi yarım saat kadar sohbet ederler ateşten, yağmurdan. Ayrılma zamanı geldiğinde hesabın olması gerekenin yarısı kadar olduğunu görür genç adam, Arif''le bakışırlar sessizce. Şapkasının ucuna hafifçe dokunup teşekkür eder. Dışarıda yağmur hızını artırmıştır. Kapının önünde kısa bir an ceketine sıkıca sarılır ve çıkar.

Bir sonraki sahnede araba farlarının aydınlattığı geniş bir caddenin kıyısında yürüdüğünü görürüz genç adamın. Yağmur altında kendi kendine konuşmakta, hızlıca yanından gelip geçenlere dönüp bir şeyler saçmalamaktadır.

Güneşe koşmalısın

Şimdi koşmalısın

Geriye dönüşün hiç bir zaman mümkün olmayacağını

bilerek ve dinleyerek

şehrin karanlığına tünemiş kargaların çığlıklarını

güneşe koşmalısın

şimdi koşmalısın

ileriye baktığında göreceğin tek şeyin

sonsuz bir doğru olacağını bilerek ve görerek

ufkun göklere ve yerlere başkaldırışını

betona çarpacağını bilerek

dişlerinin ellerine döküleceğini

Güneşe koşmalısın

Şimdi koşmalısın

Garip der kendi kendine caddenin köşesinde beklemekte olan yaşlı seyyar satıcı. İnsanların ne dediğini duyması imkansız bu kadar gürültünün ortasında. Hem duysalar da umursamazlar ki.

Son karede diz çöktüğünü görürüz genç adamın caddenin ortasında. Yanından gelip geçen arabaların kornalarına aldırmadan, yağmur damlalarının ellerinin arasından akıp gidişini seyretmektedir.

"Bu da sıyırmış besbelli" der ihtiyar seyyar satıcı.

Sanki bir daha hiç yağmayacağının müjdesini veren öfkeli bir yağmur altında siyah şapkalı genç bir adam hıçkıra hıçkıra ağlamaktadır.

***

Kamera Beyoğlu tünele yakın rengarenk bir mağazanın önünde beklemekte olan yirmili yaşlarının ortasında bakımlı ve güzel bir kadına odaklanır.

"Yapabilirim" der kendi kendine belki de 21.defa genç kadın.

"Yapabilirim".

İçeri girip girmemekte kararsızdır. Tam o esnada telefonu çalmaya başlar. Arayan Selin'dir. 5 dakika içinde orada olacağını haber vermektedir.

İki blok ötedeki kitapçıdan yayılan müziğe kulak verir genç kadın.

"I don’t wanna die,

But I ain’t keen on living either.

Before I fall in love,

I’m preparing to leave her.

I scare myself to death,

That’s why I keep on running.

Before I’ve arrived, I can see myself coming."

Hayatında artık bir şeylerin eksikliğini fazlasıyla hissettiği bir döneme girmekte olduğunun farkındadır genç kadın. Üniversitedeki kariyer hayallerinin bir çoğunun gerçek hayatta hiç bir karşılığı olmadığını anlamaya başlamıştır. Tırmanacak bir mucize duvarnın eksiklğini hissetmektedir tüm varlığıyla.

Düşünceleri uzaklara, geçmişin gölgelerine kayar.

Uzak bir diyarda, uçsuz bucaksız bozkırın, tek bir buluta dahi şahit olmayan masmavi bir gökyüzüne bakan, yemyesil bir karpuz tarlasının ortasında küçük bir kız çocuğu silahını doğrultmuş kocaman kırmızı bir şapkanın altında kaybolmuş oğlan çocuğuna ateş etmektedir.

"Dan dan ! Vurdum seni !"

Abartılı bir tavırla kendi ekseni etrafında döner çocuk, elini kalbine götürüp haykırır,

"vuruldum, ah anneciğim, vuruldum !

Önce şapka yuvarlanır, sonra çocuk düşer. Güneş tepede parıldamakta, kız çocuğu sabırla kalkmasını beklemektedir kırmızı şapkalı minik kovboyun.

Dakikalar geçer, hiç bir kıpırdama olmaz. Bekler küçük kız çocuğu, parıldayan güneşin, bozkırın serinliğinin, alnından göz kapaklarına süzülen tuzlu ter damlacıklarının farkında olmaksızın.

Bekler..

Bileğinde ani buz gibi bir kavrayış kendine getirir genç kadını.

"Bakayım ablacığımın falına, söyleyeyim kısmetini emencicik, güzel ablacım"

Şaşırmış, korkmakla öfkelenmek arasında gidip gelmekte olan genç kadın kurtarmaya çalışır sertçe bileğini,

"Bırak, istemiyorum, bırak !"

"Aman da ablacım neymişsin sen böyle, prensesmiş benim güzel ablacım önceki yaşamlarının birinde, saraylarda, şatolarda yaşarmış ah be ablacım bak işte bak"

Duraksar genç kadın, yaşlı çingenenin buruş buruş ellerinde kendisinden beklenmeyecek bir kuvvetle sıktığı avucundaki çizgilere bakar hiç bir şey anlamadan.

"Benim bildiğim geleceğe bakılır fallarda, geçmiş yaşam da ne oluyor, ne biçim falcısın sen"

Sırıtır yaşlı çingene, dişsiz damaklarını birbirine vurarak kişnemeye benzer tuhaf bir ses çıkarır, tiksinir genç kadın uzaklaşmaya çalışır biraz daha.

"Geçmişi de geleceği de bilir abe güzel ablacım bu zavallı kardeşin, üç beş kuruş at da söyleyiversin hemencecik sana kısmetini, bir yemek parası ha, benim güzeller güzeli ablacım"

Biraz da hemen kurtulmak isteğiyle çıkarır üç beş kuruş sıkıştırır buruşuk ellere genç kadın, dönüp gitmeye hazırlanırken tam birden tuhaf bir şey olur, sesi değişiverir yaşlı çingenin ve sözcükler dökülmeye başlar tüyler ürpertici bir çınlamayla.

"Genç bir adam görüyorum, kalbini çalmaya niyetli besbelli. Onuru söz konusu olduğunda tahtına sırt çevirebilecek bir kralın yüreğine sahip"

"Yüreğine dokunmasına izin vermemelisin. Bir Tanrıçanın mührünü taşıyor bu genç adam, ağır bir yük var omuzlarında çok uzun süredir."

"Kalbinin sesine kapa kulaklarını, uzak dur ondan. Uzak dur !!"

Hızla çeker ellerini yaşlı çingene, arkasını dönüp topallaya topallaya koşmaya başlar, karşısına çıkan ilk ara sokağa saparak.

Bir süre sessiz kalır genç kadın. Sol avucundaki çizgilere bakar anlamsızca. Silkinir sonra umursamaz bir tavırla, Selin karşıdan gülerek ona yaklaşırken unutuvermiştir çoktan yaşlı çingenin saçmasapan kehanetlerini.

Beyoğlunda bir öğle vakti kahkahalarla gülmektedir iki genç kadın, etraflarından akan kalabalığa hiç aldırış etmeksizin...

TruthCatcher Legacy Part IV: Uttegae

"About mastering the game.
How does one know they have mastered it?
Does someone else tell them?
See, if the 'master' is not really a master yet he acts like one it will mean he will make errors.
He will have flawed thoughts and act accordingly.
People will start listening to him and adopt the flawed opinions and way of living.....eventually he will do more harm than 1 bloodline actually has the power to do personally.
Hence why 'leaders' have been created for you who 'have mastered their game'."
Sacred Datacron of the First Ones

She was amazing.

Whirling, jumping, turning, cutting horizantally, vertically, diagonally. So smooth. So swift. So exceptional. In less than 22 seconds she had executed all 13 imperial guards and the glorious Sith Emperor was lying before me unconsciouss.

'The relic did its job quite well, I see' She grinned.

Good Lord, she didn't even show any sign of fatigue!..

'It did, indeed.' I smiled back touching the little purple shining stone on my left wrist. 'His excellency will not be able to have his roasted Jedi for dinner tonight'.

I leaned over him and searched for the atlantean orb in his robes' inner pockets.

'Here, it is!' I exclaimed. 'We are ready to open the portal, now.'

She stared at the slightly glowing green orb on my hands. 'Hımm, ok then, Arck. I leave the honour of finishing him to you. Make it quick and clean.'

I turned and looked at her deep sparkling red eyes; 'I do not have any intention of doing such a thing'.

She turned slightly and stared at me with awe. 'Is that so? Well, as you wish. I will do it, then'. She raised her double-bladed saber to hit him.

'No, Enif. You will not.' I jumped between her and the lying man holding her arm. 'We got what we want. Time to leave, now'.

She was quite taken aback.
'What the fuck?! Take your damned hands off me, Jedi. Before you lose them!!'

I felt a chill moving down on my spine.
'Ok, calm down now. I know what your assassin instincts tell you at the moment. But it is time to leave those instincts behind and start using your intuition instead. You have to understand that killing him will not change anything at all but may even make things worse. You see he is nothing but a puppet whose strings are pulled by some unknown higher power.'

For a long moment she locked her eyes on me. And I thought may be it is over this time. Now she will cut me in half and walk over my body. But it happened again. It happened just like in Tatooine six months ago where I had first met her fighting my way through the lines of hostile desert thugs to get the legendary relic I needed to use against the famous deadly lightning attack of the emperor. She looked into my eyes and I again caught a glimpse of light with an unexpected warmth in her eyes. And she quietly lowered her saber.

'You are making a huge mistake, Arckturus. I imagine even your Jedi Masters will be mad at you letting this man walk away like this. Not a man actually, a monster who can destroy all life of an entire planet without hesitation.'

'No, they will not. That is one of the first things we learn at the academy. A jedi does not take the life of a living being unless it is absolutely necessary. As long as there exist life, there will be hope. Even for the dark emperor.'
'But enough talking. We have to move. All hell will break loose soon. We need to reach the 42th gate in aproximately 7 hours in order to be able to open the portal to the Ring.'

I gave a last look at the old man harmlessly lying on the ground before me. I was desperately hoping that I had made the right choice.

'Godspeed you black emperor' I whispered as we left the place.

to be continued-

robot within

If you are not hearing this, you are missing. something..

TruthCatcher Legacy Part III: Terror of the Situation

"Love, it is not to be understood in human terms which humans are enslaved by. That is the corrupt version of the real one. If you observe closely you will see we merely spreading the tools which can be used by you to free yourself or chain yourself, your choice.
The Divine Law has a purpose for you and it is not on this realm. Prove you are worthy again to be released. The distraction is part of that.
It is about knowing who is and who is not."
Sacred Datacron of the First Ones

'Have you gone completely nuts?' she was staring at me in bewilderment.

'Believe me, that's the only way' I replied calmy. 'At least, the only way I could find out so far'.

'Ok, let me clarify this. You somehow started to believe that you do not belong to this universe. And again somehow you have managed to acquire certain information that there is a way to return back to where you truly belong to. But in order to be able to do it you have to pass through a Ring of Chaos which supposedly enclose our known universe. Moreover, you need the Sith Emperor to help you to do that since he is the only being in this universe who have gone there and was able to come back alive.'

'More or less, yes. I know it sounds a bit crazy but I believe it could be done, with the guidance of the Force, of course".

'A bit crazy ?? Arck, this is insane!! Let alone getting help from Emperor you cannot even get near to the him!
Alive, I mean..'

'Raven did it. And so Malak.'

'Yes, they did. And they fell. Is that really what you want? Is this all about being a hero? A savior of the worlds? And what is that nonsense about not belonging here or there? We are Jedi, we belong where we are needed. And right now the Republic needs you. The Order needs you. Have you forgotten to whom you serve? Do you deny your ideals? Our ideals?

'I remember very well what in truth I do serve. I serve the One. As do everyone/everything else. Su, you know me. I shall not fall. I cannot. Please, try to understand me. If I cannot help myself, how can I help the Republic? If I cannot know myself how can I go after some ideals that imposed in me since I was a little kid? No, there is no way that I could go on with the current way of things. I cannot hide behind this illusion of light and dark. Not anymore. I passed that line long ago. All I see now is shades of gray. Corruption is everywhere. Lies are everywhere. There must be some way out of here. There's too much confusion, so much that I can't get no relief."

'Well, if you think there is corruption and confusion then why don't you start doing something about it? Do you really think that running away like this will help things get better?
This is all about Naen, isn't it? Arck, I miss him too. We all miss him. But you have to accept that he is gone. You have to get over it. Please, return back to Coruscant. Let us help you.'

'No, Su. This is not about Naen. And stop pitying on me. You know how I hate it.
Anyway, it is obvious that this conversation goes nowhere. I will do what I feel I have to. And you will do what you have to do. Thanks for everything you have done for me. May the Force be with you..'

'But I cannot let you go alone on a suicide mission like this. What will be your next step? I will come with you.'

'No, you will not. You will return back to the temple and tell Master Sidniestar that I will come and see him when I feel I am ready. So long, until then.'

'No..'

...

So that's how I left her there in that white-yellow treatment room in Nar Shadaa. At that time she had no doubt that it was the last time she had seen me.

But the Force had other plans for me.

Plans that neither her nor anyone else in the Order can ever imagine.

to be continued-

TruthCatcher Legacy Part II: Precipice

Part II Precipice

"And I saw another man.
Tired and lame he dragged himself along the dusty road, across the deserted plain under the scorching rays of the sun. He glanced sidelong with foolish, staring eyes, a half smile, half leer on his face; he knew not where he went, but was absorbed in his chimerical dreams which ran constantly in the same circle. His fool's cap was put on wrong side front, his garments were torn in the back; a wild lynx with glowing eyes sprang upon him from behind a rock and buried her teeth in his flesh. He stumbled, nearly fell, but continued to drag himself along, all the time holding on his shoulder a bag containing useless things, which he, in his stupidity, carried wherever he went.
Before him a crevice crossed the road and a deep precipice awaited the foolish wanderer. Then a huge crocodile with open mouth crawled out of the precipice. And I heard the voice say:--
'Look! This is the same man.'
I felt my head whirl.
"What has he in the bag?" I inquired, not knowing why I asked. And after a long silence the voice replied: "The four magic symbols, the sceptre, the cup, the sword and the pentacle. The fool always carries them, although he has long since forgotten what they mean. Nevertheless they belong to him, even though he does not know their use. The symbols have not lost their power, they retain it in themselves."

Sacred Datacron of the First Ones

It was burning.

I could feel it burning inside me. No, not yet. Not now. I turned half way round and reaching through the force cut the second Gemorrean. Another blaster shot but reflected by my lightsaber this time. That sneaky Devaronian. And then something hit me right on my face. Blood pouring from my nose, I slashed my lightsaber blindly in defence. Scream and agony. Ok, one left. Focus. Breath. Leap. And I was on top of the Devorian, finishing him quickly. Finally. It is over.

'Impressive, Jedi'. An unexpected clapping sound. 'Really, impressive'.

Here I was, standing before a Sith, bleeding, sweating, cursing the blaster shot burning through my left chest. A sorcerer as I understand from her sleeky clothes and unique ugliness.

'Enough killing for today, Sith'. I grimaced. 'Leave, now. Your life will be spared'.

A quick smirk in return. 'How pathetic. How about you beg me mercy that I finish you fast?'

Ok, I said to myself. Hold on to your Soresu stance. Wait for the lightning. If you can survive it, you may get a chance to get close to her. Close enough to have a single Djem So strike.

Then came the lightning. And it almost killed me. I was lying on the ground, unable to move. She would be on me in a second. I waited. Somehow I was looking forward to facing this moment for the last three miserable years of my life. And it had come finally. Time to join Naen in the Force.

'Hello, Arcky' came a familiar voice. 'It's been a long time.'

Su Jena!

How she found me? Was that possible? And yet there she was. Standing beside the dead sith. Smiling as beautiful as ever.

'Hey there, Su' was all I could say before passing out.

-to be continued

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2 numarada bizim topraklardan ezgiler var, ruhu dinlendirmek için birebir.

Ve son sırada her ne kadar dizi içeriği beni insanlığımdan tiksindirme noktasına getirse de müziklerine doyamadığım Break of Reality - Game of Thrones cover'ı var.

Çocuk sahibi olmak tuhaf gerçekten. Zor ama bir o kadar güzel... 

TruthCatcher Legacy Part I: Prologue

“Abyssus abyssum invocat “

I am Arckturus. A knight of the Jedi Order and the last of the First Ones, of whom only a few ancient texts mention as the "Truth Catchers". Now, I will tell you my story.
 
The earlist memories I have in this realm goes back to Vintrus, 26 years before the Treaty of Coruscant. Being one of the less significant sectors of the Outer Rim that summer was really a milestone for the people of Vintrus. For the first time in their known history they hosted such a crowded committee of diplomats, military attache and artisans from the Republic. There was even a Jedi Master amoung the group, Master Belth Allusis, who suprisingly had found out not one but two very young boys who had clear force potential with high midi-chlorian counts. They were two brothers from the clan lu-lan, 3 and 4 years old respectively. I, as the younger one was darker than my brother and more aggressive in most ways, showing a natural talent for sword fencing and fighting. My brother, Naen, on the contrary was a generally silent child. He was fair, and more like an observing type. But he had an unexceptional will. Quite an inner strenght, one could tell. At such a young age when he started speaking even the elders of the clan stand still and listen to him.
 
Well, the first 12 years in the academy was probably the best times of my life. There were 4 of us, always together, Su, Naen, Ina and me. I was deeply in love with Su. But it was ok at that age, I guess. We knew the rules. We embraced our oath. There was a war going on but we were hardly aware of it. Everything was a game. Everything was exciting. The living Force was everywhere. We were guided by It.
 
So was Master Allusis. That's how he fell defending Bothawui with a dozen of the Order's bravest knights. That's how I lost my father, the Champion of the Lost Causes. That's when I left my childhood behind.
 
It was a time of great dispute amoung the Jedi. Some of the young knights and padawans had started to talk about how Order was too passive and always on defence which just encouraged the Sith to be so impudent. Before it is too late we had to move and we had to move swift. Attacking Sith where they were, as they were, cleaning the universe out of them once more was the only solution. I, as the charming and extremely skillful duelist of the family was amoung that group. We were so confident in ourselves that we had even started to talk about creating a task force to track and eliminate the infamous Sith Emporer. We were believing that all those stories about how he was immortal and so powerful and so bla bla was deliberately created by the Emporer himself to put further fear in those subjects of him and his enemies.
 
Naen, on the other hand was trying to calm down the tension and keep telling us the nature of the chaos, how it would eventually turn in and destroy itself. He claimed that evil can be used as a step to move up but that would take significant time, unavoidable sacrifice and a very careful strategy. I remember how he was worried about me at those days. We used to make trips around the galaxy for some simple missions. I enjoyed talking to him. He always had these unexpected, strange ideas about the events happening around us that no one may ever think so. He had a great memory, could tell you every knight and padawan in the order, all the past masters, historical stuff. Just ask him and he would shoot it straight. He was somehow suffering in deep, for whatever reason I had no idea. I used talk about death a lot those days. Death was nothing. There was only the Force. It was a true honor for a knight to die serving the Republic. I cannot forget that sarcastic smile of him when I used to start talking about being a knight, facing death, serving the good, being the champion of people etc etc.
 
We lost Naen that year in a far forgotten desert planet. They were 4 of them driving in a land-speeder when they crashed into a strange desert animal suddenly jumping on them. Only one of them survived. His death was sudden they told me. It was so weird. That feeling of surprise. Even after a year, when I thought about the incident, I felt that strange, horrible feeling of surprise. As if it just happened again, and again. How could I believe a life without Naen? We were together all our lives. We were not just brothers but best friends. There was absolutely no way of a life without him for me. And the Force had taken him from me. All that Jedi code and dogma. All those heroic stories. All of a sudden they meant nothing. Where was I? What was I? Why were I here? Questions. Questions. Questions.
 
And I knew then. I knew clearly what I was in truth. All my life I had been nothing but a fool. And what I perceived as life was nothing better than a fool's dream.
 
The true journey of my life had just begun.

to be continued-

ps: Swtor oynarken üyesi olduğum Revenant'ın forum sayısında yayınladığım hikayenin ilk bölümü.

kibir

Ey kürt milleti..

En acımasız cinayetler, en akıl almaz katliamlar, neredeyse bütün o faili meçhuller, şimdi üstüne titrediğiniz, yere göğe sığdıramadığınız o"örgüt"ün içinden ve anlı şanlı mücadelesinden peydahlanan itirafçılar eliyle gerçekleştirilmedi mi?

Elinizi vicdanınıza koyun, biraz durun ve kalp atışlarınıza kulak verin; bugün "devlet" ve paralelinde "cemaat"'de gördüğünüz, belki alay edip burun kıvırdığınız o şey, o her neyse, emin olun, aynaya baktığınızda tüm çıplaklığıyla size de görünecek.

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