I am Arckturus. A knight of the Jedi Order and the last of the First Ones, of whom only a few ancient texts mention as the "Truth Catchers". Now, I will tell you my story.
The earlist memories I have in this realm goes back to Vintrus, 26 years before the Treaty of Coruscant. Being one of the less significant sectors of the Outer Rim that summer was really a milestone for the people of Vintrus. For the first time in their known history they hosted such a crowded committee of diplomats, military attache and artisans from the Republic. There was even a Jedi Master amoung the group, Master Belth Allusis, who suprisingly had found out not one but two very young boys who had clear force potential with high midi-chlorian counts. They were two brothers from the clan lu-lan, 3 and 4 years old respectively. I, as the younger one was darker than my brother and more aggressive in most ways, showing a natural talent for sword fencing and fighting. My brother, Naen, on the contrary was a generally silent child. He was fair, and more like an observing type. But he had an unexceptional will. Quite an inner strenght, one could tell. At such a young age when he started speaking even the elders of the clan stand still and listen to him.
Well, the first 12 years in the academy was probably the best times of my life. There were 4 of us, always together, Su, Naen, Ina and me. I was deeply in love with Su. But it was ok at that age, I guess. We knew the rules. We embraced our oath. There was a war going on but we were hardly aware of it. Everything was a game. Everything was exciting. The living Force was everywhere. We were guided by It.
So was Master Allusis. That's how he fell defending Bothawui with a dozen of the Order's bravest knights. That's how I lost my father, the Champion of the Lost Causes. That's when I left my childhood behind.
It was a time of great dispute amoung the Jedi. Some of the young knights and padawans had started to talk about how Order was too passive and always on defence which just encouraged the Sith to be so impudent. Before it is too late we had to move and we had to move swift. Attacking Sith where they were, as they were, cleaning the universe out of them once more was the only solution. I, as the charming and extremely skillful duelist of the family was amoung that group. We were so confident in ourselves that we had even started to talk about creating a task force to track and eliminate the infamous Sith Emporer. We were believing that all those stories about how he was immortal and so powerful and so bla bla was deliberately created by the Emporer himself to put further fear in those subjects of him and his enemies.
Naen, on the other hand was trying to calm down the tension and keep telling us the nature of the chaos, how it would eventually turn in and destroy itself. He claimed that evil can be used as a step to move up but that would take significant time, unavoidable sacrifice and a very careful strategy. I remember how he was worried about me at those days. We used to make trips around the galaxy for some simple missions. I enjoyed talking to him. He always had these unexpected, strange ideas about the events happening around us that no one may ever think so. He had a great memory, could tell you every knight and padawan in the order, all the past masters, historical stuff. Just ask him and he would shoot it straight. He was somehow suffering in deep, for whatever reason I had no idea. I used talk about death a lot those days. Death was nothing. There was only the Force. It was a true honor for a knight to die serving the Republic. I cannot forget that sarcastic smile of him when I used to start talking about being a knight, facing death, serving the good, being the champion of people etc etc.
We lost Naen that year in a far forgotten desert planet. They were 4 of them driving in a land-speeder when they crashed into a strange desert animal suddenly jumping on them. Only one of them survived. His death was sudden they told me. It was so weird. That feeling of surprise. Even after a year, when I thought about the incident, I felt that strange, horrible feeling of surprise. As if it just happened again, and again. How could I believe a life without Naen? We were together all our lives. We were not just brothers but best friends. There was absolutely no way of a life without him for me. And the Force had taken him from me. All that Jedi code and dogma. All those heroic stories. All of a sudden they meant nothing. Where was I? What was I? Why were I here? Questions. Questions. Questions.
And I knew then. I knew clearly what I was in truth. All my life I had been nothing but a fool. And what I perceived as life was nothing better than a fool's dream.
The true journey of my life had just begun.
to be continued-
ps: Swtor oynarken üyesi olduğum Revenant'ın forum sayısında yayınladığım hikayenin ilk bölümü.