"ODTÜ Makina mezunu 35 yaşındaki Mehmet Pişkin, bu sabaha karşı Facebook'ta "Mehmet Pişkin'in intihar notu" başlıklı 14 dakikalık bir video paylaştıktan sonra hayatına son verdi."
İnternet sitelerine düşen bir haber ve video. Videoyu izledikten sonra oturup üzerine derinlemesine düşündüm ve bu yazıyı yazmaya karar verdim. Zor bir karar oldu, video Facebook'da yayınlamasa böyle bir yazı yazmayacaktım muhtemelen, hem ölenin anısına, hem de ailesine duyduğum saygıdan.
Mehmet Pişkin bir egoist. Egoizminin hastalık derecesinde tezahür etmesinin sebepleri üzerinde ayrıca düşünmek gerekir belki ama o kadar veriye sahip değilim. Sadece bende bıraktığı yansımalara dair bir yorum yapabilirim.
Mehmet Pişkin'in bir egoist olduğunu biliyorum çünkü ben de bir egoistim. Egoizmin insanın yeryüzündeki tezahüründe gerekli ve kaçınılmaz bir olgu olduğuna inanıyorum. Bir tür aşama.
Egoist neden ölmek ister? Neden bir gece vakti boynuna ilmiği dolayıp bedenini evinin doğal gaz borusundan asarak tahrip etmeyi seçer? Üstelik öncesinde herkesin görebileceği bir sosyal ortamda bunu cümle alemle paylaşarak.
Derinlerde bir yerde ölümden ölesiye korktuğu için, benim için cevap bu. Aslında bir tür ölümsüzlük iddiası gerçekleştirdiği eylem. Bedenimi kadavra yapın, balıklara yem edin ama gömmeyin, sakın bir mezar olmasın demesi aslında kanımca burada en büyük ipucu. Bir mezarım olmayacak, çünkü ben bir ölümsüzüm. Bu hayat bir şaka. Kötü bir şaka. Ve ben artık yokum. Benden bu kadar.
Evet, bu bir seçim. Ve ben bu seçime saygı duyuyorum. Mutluluk hiç bir zaman bir amaç olmadı benim için, ama benim de içimde bir gün bu diyardan çekip gitme özlemi var. Ama bunu bedenimi tahrip ederek yapmak? Bu kadar kolay mı? Değil. Ve bunu anlayabilmek, hissedebilmek, duyumsamak inanın çok zor oldu. Ama bu artık bir veri benim için. Hakikat.
Aydınlanmanın ilk aşamasında fiziksel bedenini bir makina gibi görür insanoğlu. Bir tür araç, araba ya da bir robot. Bilincin farkındalığına varılmıştır artık ve beden bir işlev olarak orada durmaktadır. Tam olarak nasıl çalıştığı, ne amaçla var olduğu bilinmesede.
İkinci aşamada araç olarak görünen şeyin aslında bir tür hayvan olduğunun farkındalığına varılır. Kendisine özgü bir yaşama sahiptir, Bilinç farkında olmadan hareket eder -araba kullanırken mesela- ihtiyacı olmadığı halde acıkır -yerli yersiz gecenin bir vakti buzdolabı kapağını açar kapar-, arzular, kendine özgü alışkanlıklar geliştirir -farkında olmadan bacak bacak üstüne atmak, kafasını kaşımak, kalkıp yürümek gibi-. Bu aşamada hayvan üzerinde bir kontrol geliştirme çabası devreye girer. Bir tür Efendi-Köle ilişkisi kurulur bedenle. Gerektiğinde bir kemik atmak suretiyle -Bknz Gazali-, gerektiğinde oruçla, ağır işlere koşularak -günümüzde sportif aktivitelerle- zaptedilir.
Bir sonraki aşama biraz zaman alır ama kendiliğinden gelişir, çaba gerektirmez. Hayvanın da aslında bir tür bilince sahip olduğunun farkındalığı kazanılır. Ve ilginçolan bu bilinç yeryüzüne -Tabiat ana- derinden bağlıdır. Bir tür ortak bilinçtir aslında söz konusu olan. Bu açıdan saygıyı haketmektedir, söz konusu olan aslında bir tür ortak yaşamdır. Bir anlamda Yeryüzü ruhunu, bireyin bilinciyle beslemektedir. İnsan bedeni deneyimleyerek Adam olma aşamasına gelmiştir. Beden -Tabiat- bilinçle beslenerek bir tür zeka kazanmaktadır.
Kölenin azad edilme zamanı gelmiştir. Ama özgürlüğüne kavuşan aynı zamanda Efendidir.
Kişisel düşüncem Mehmet Pişkin'in bu aşamaya gelemeden kaçmayı tercih etmiş olması. Ama kendisi her ne kadar bunu reddetse de her şey bitmiş değildir. Mehmet Pişkin'in bilinci hala orada, belki burada tam yanımda, belki de annesinin başucunda varolmaya devam etmektedir. Ve insanlığın ortak kaderinde bir kez daha karşılaşmaları -bu dünyada ya da başka dünyalarda- kanımca kaçınılmazdır.
Bilimin şu geldiği aşamada bedeninin bir kadavra olarak çok fazla işleve sahip olacağını da sanmıyorum ama yayınladığı videonun psikolojide, sosyolojide bir 'case study' olarak çok faydalı olacağına inancım tam.
Kendisine rahmet, ailesine ve sevenlerine sabır diliyorum.
16 Ekim 2014 Perşembe
29 Eylül 2014 Pazartesi
the Warrior
Blast!
How come I became so sentimental and sensitive that I can't even get a simple irony. Sorry, Worakk..
No, my friends. I shall not hide behind my fellow guildies. Sometimes the best way to learn swimming is just to dive deep into sea. I will go there and fight may way out or die on the way trying. But it is good to know that there is a hand out there in case I need to reach. Thank you for your kindness and good hearts.
I was on a rp-pvp server (aquilonia) while I was playing Age of Conan and I had a rule of my own; I had to reach end game content with only 13 lives. When I die 13th times (killed by other players) then I die for good. No more resurrection, no more running through rez points. It was a thrilling experience. I was running away from other players most of the the time, trying desperately to finish the missions without be seen. But It did finally happen. I was level 34 or something like that when it all ended. And I was actually glad that it had finally ended. I was getting sick of all that blood and gore.
Here I do not have such a rule but I still have some "policies";
1) I do not select 'greed' no matter what; either I need it or I do not need it. I am a knight of the Jedi Order after all.
2) I do not make choices that I do not feel to do; no matter what xp it gives or what progress I made up to that point.
3) I do not kill creatures around the planets; if and when I am attacked I simply run. I do kill people on pvp games or when I am personally attacked (flagged) but guarding is always my first priority than damaging or killing.
Why am I enforcing such rules or necessities?
Why do I draw lines and circles around myself in this way?
It is "the Law of Limitation" that I learned from the sacred datacron of the First Ones;
"Limitation is the first law of manifestation, therefore it is the first law of power. This is not sufficiently appreciated. Many people believe that a spiritual power is infinite, which is far from being the case. For the Logos to manifest It has to circumscribe itself. But a spiritual power is so much greater than the potencies of the lower planes that, when brought to bear upon them, it overcomes all resistances.
It is by the limitation of the content of consciousness that you achieve the concentration of power. But it is by the development and expansion of consciousness that you achive the basis of limitation, because limitation implies discrimination, and a limitation of consciousness is entirely different to a limited consciousness. Limited consciousness implies the exclusion of experience. Limitation of consciousness implies selection of experience and the focusing of attention upon the chosen subject. It is the Law of Limitation which is implied in the power to focus. It is by availing ourselves of resistances that we are able to obtain a purchase upon diffused manifestation."
I may quite safely say from my past experiences that it is a very useful information if you have a goal or a desire to realize.
Thank you again my brothers&sisters in arms. It shall be an honour to fight by your side when I finally prove myself that I do really deserve that honour.
Fides Omnia Vincit
Arckturus
How come I became so sentimental and sensitive that I can't even get a simple irony. Sorry, Worakk..
No, my friends. I shall not hide behind my fellow guildies. Sometimes the best way to learn swimming is just to dive deep into sea. I will go there and fight may way out or die on the way trying. But it is good to know that there is a hand out there in case I need to reach. Thank you for your kindness and good hearts.
I was on a rp-pvp server (aquilonia) while I was playing Age of Conan and I had a rule of my own; I had to reach end game content with only 13 lives. When I die 13th times (killed by other players) then I die for good. No more resurrection, no more running through rez points. It was a thrilling experience. I was running away from other players most of the the time, trying desperately to finish the missions without be seen. But It did finally happen. I was level 34 or something like that when it all ended. And I was actually glad that it had finally ended. I was getting sick of all that blood and gore.
Here I do not have such a rule but I still have some "policies";
1) I do not select 'greed' no matter what; either I need it or I do not need it. I am a knight of the Jedi Order after all.
2) I do not make choices that I do not feel to do; no matter what xp it gives or what progress I made up to that point.
3) I do not kill creatures around the planets; if and when I am attacked I simply run. I do kill people on pvp games or when I am personally attacked (flagged) but guarding is always my first priority than damaging or killing.
Why am I enforcing such rules or necessities?
Why do I draw lines and circles around myself in this way?
It is "the Law of Limitation" that I learned from the sacred datacron of the First Ones;
"Limitation is the first law of manifestation, therefore it is the first law of power. This is not sufficiently appreciated. Many people believe that a spiritual power is infinite, which is far from being the case. For the Logos to manifest It has to circumscribe itself. But a spiritual power is so much greater than the potencies of the lower planes that, when brought to bear upon them, it overcomes all resistances.
It is by the limitation of the content of consciousness that you achieve the concentration of power. But it is by the development and expansion of consciousness that you achive the basis of limitation, because limitation implies discrimination, and a limitation of consciousness is entirely different to a limited consciousness. Limited consciousness implies the exclusion of experience. Limitation of consciousness implies selection of experience and the focusing of attention upon the chosen subject. It is the Law of Limitation which is implied in the power to focus. It is by availing ourselves of resistances that we are able to obtain a purchase upon diffused manifestation."
I may quite safely say from my past experiences that it is a very useful information if you have a goal or a desire to realize.
Thank you again my brothers&sisters in arms. It shall be an honour to fight by your side when I finally prove myself that I do really deserve that honour.
Fides Omnia Vincit
Arckturus
19 Eylül 2014 Cuma
16 Nisan 2014 Çarşamba
10 Nisan 2014 Perşembe
Bu topraklardaki liberal -özgürlükçü- damar..
Sanılanın aksine çok eskidir. KAdimdir. Derindir.
Günümüzde hep milliyetçilik ve muhafazarlık üzerinden kurulur bu ülkede bütün denklemler. Liberaller süs için bir kenarda tutulan, geçici ittifak unsurları olarak görülür genelde. Etkisi pek önemsenmese de, sesini her ne hikmetse her dönemde duyurabilen küçük bir aydın zümresi olarak tasvir edilir.
Oysa ki bu topraklarda liberaller hep vardı. En eski uygarlıklarda, Selçuklu'da, Osmanlı'da, Cumhuriyet'in ilk kuruluş yıllarında ve sonrasında.
Sadece burjuva ya da eğitimli okumuş bir kesim olarak görmek de bu insanları büyük bir yanılgı. Ağrı'nın Doğubeyazıt ilçesinin ücra bir köyünde dahi bir liberal sese kulak vermek mümkündür.
Evet, doğru, yüksüzdürler. Ne bir elektron gibi negatif, ne bir proton gibi pozitif. Ne bir tarafa çekilmek, ne bir yerden itilmek; onlar için aslolan seçebilmektir.
Az gibi görünürler, evet. Oya tahvil edilebilmeleri mümkün değildir. Kitle, parti, toplum, topluluk, tarikat, cemaat çıkmaz onlardan. Her şeyden önce bireydirler.
Ve ister inanın, ister inanmayın. İster muhafazakar olsun, ister milliyetçi; uzun vadede bu topraklarda kazananı liberaller belirliyor olacaktır.
Bu sadece bu toprakların değil, yeryüzünün de kanunudur.
3 Nisan 2014 Perşembe
sıyırdım dedi ve gitti
Hakikat'e yüz çevirip "insan"dan medet umanlar; şüphesiz ki hakkınızdaki hüküm yine insan eliyle verilecektir. O günden sakının.
26 Mart 2014 Çarşamba
Wikipedia candır. sahip çıkalım..
Shigeru Ban
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
| Born | August 5, 1957 Tokyo, Japan |
|---|---|
| Nationality | Japanese |
| Awards | Pritzker Prize (2014) |
| Buildings | Centre Pompidou-Metz, France Cardboard Cathedral, Christchurch, New Zealand |
_(4936016394).jpg)
In 2014, Ban was named the 37th recipient of the Pritzker Architecture Prize, the most prestigious prize in modernist architecture.[3] The Pritzker Jury cited Ban for his innovative use of material and his dedication to humanitarian efforts around the world, calling him "a committed teacher who is not only a role model for younger generation, but also an inspiration."[3]
Early life and education[edit]
Ban was born in Tokyo, Japan. He studied at the Tokyo University of the Arts,[1] and then at the Southern California Institute of Architecture. Later he went to Cooper Union's School of Architecture, where he studied under John Hejduk and graduated in 1984.[1] Hejduk was a part of the New York Five. From Hejduk, Ban not only learned fundamental elements of architecture, but also gained an interest in "architectonic poetics" or the creation of "three-dimensional poetry". Hejduk, the most experimentally minded of the New York Five,[citation needed] had a lasting influence on Ban, whose work reflects continuing explorations into basic geometric elements.[citation needed] Ban's formal explorations with basic building materials helped to lead him into unique structural solutions.Design approach[edit]
For Ban, one of the most important themes in his work is the "invisible structure". That is, he does not overtly express his structural elements, but rather chooses to incorporate them into the design. Ban is not interested in the newest materials and techniques, but rather the expression of the concept behind his building.[citation needed] He deliberately chooses materials to further this expression.Ban's work encompasses several schools of architecture. First he is a Japanese architect, and uses many themes and methods found in traditional Japanese architecture (such as shōji) and the idea of a "universal floor" to allow continuity between all rooms in a house. In his buildings, this translates to a floor without change in elevation. By choosing to study under Hejduk, Ban opted to do something different. Hejduk’s rationalist views on architecture provided a way of revisiting Western modernism and gaining a richer appreciation than the reductive vision of it as a rationalized version of the traditionalist—yet ultra-modern—Japanese space. With his Western education and influences, Ban has become one of the forerunning Japanese architects who embrace the combination of Western and Eastern building forms and methods. Perhaps most influential from Hejduk was the study of the structure of architectural systems. Ban is most famous now for his innovative work with paper and cardboard tubing as a material for building construction. He was the first architect in Japan to construct a building primarily out of paper with his paper house, and required special approval for his building to pass Japan’s building code. Ban is attracted to using paper because it is low cost, recyclable, low-tech and replaceable. The last aspect of Ban’s influences is his humanitarianism and his attraction to ecological architecture. Ban's work with paper and other materials is heavily based on its sustainability and because it produces very little waste. As a result of this, Ban's DIY refugee shelters (used in Japan after the Kobe earthquake, in Turkey, Rwanda and around the world) are very popular and effective for low-cost disaster relief-housing.
Ban created the Japanese pavilion building at Expo 2000 in Hanover in collaboration with the architect Frei Otto and structural engineers Buro Happold. The 72-metre-long gridshell structure was made with paper tubes. But due to stringent building laws in Germany, the roof had to be reinforced with a substructure. After the exhibition the structure was recycled and returned to paper pulp.[2]
Ban fits well into the category of "Ecological Architects" but he also can make solid claims for being modernist, a Japanese experimentalist, as well as a rationalist. Natias Neutert, German thinker, critic, and poet, marks Ban in his essay as "a gentle revolutionary ... guiding contemporary architecture towards transparency, the spherical and the open."[4] Ban himself quotes: "I don't like waste," summing up his philosophy and practice, known as "Paper Architecture".
...
24 Mart 2014 Pazartesi
12 Şubat 2014 Çarşamba
ve bir kez daha döndü yeryüzü, buluşturmak için bizi...
Bir kez daha döndü yeryüzü, buluşturmak için bizi
birlikte ve kendi ekseninde
ve sonunda bize bu düşte katılarak
Sempozyumda yazıldığı gibi.
Geceler geçti, kar fırtınaları ve tutulmalar
zaman akarken dakikalar ve binyıllar boyu,
Nineve'den yola çıkan bir yük arabası
Nebraska'ya vardı.
Bir horoz ötüyordu dünyadan biraz uzakta
babalarımızın binlerce yaşamlarından birinde.
Yeryüzü bu ezgiyle dönüyordu
bizi beraberinde taşıyarak
ki bir an olsun dahi durmadı
öylesine sevgi dolu ve öylesine gerçek
Sempozyumun kara tahtasında uzun yıllar önce yazılmış
ağır aksak eski bir şarkıymışcasına.
La tierra giró para acercarnos
ve sonunda bize bu düşte katılarak
Sempozyumda yazıldığı gibi.
Geceler geçti, kar fırtınaları ve tutulmalar
zaman akarken dakikalar ve binyıllar boyu,
Nineve'den yola çıkan bir yük arabası
Nebraska'ya vardı.
Bir horoz ötüyordu dünyadan biraz uzakta
babalarımızın binlerce yaşamlarından birinde.
Yeryüzü bu ezgiyle dönüyordu
bizi beraberinde taşıyarak
ki bir an olsun dahi durmadı
öylesine sevgi dolu ve öylesine gerçek
Sempozyumun kara tahtasında uzun yıllar önce yazılmış
ağır aksak eski bir şarkıymışcasına.
La tierra giró para acercarnos
Eugenio Montejo
La tierra giró para acercarnos,
giró sobre sí misma y en nosotros,
hasta juntarnos por fin en este sueño,
como fue escrito en el Simposio.
Pasaron noches, nieves y solsticios;
pasó el tiempo en minutos y milenios.
Una carreta que iba para Nínive
llegó a Nebraska.
Un gallo cantó lejos del mundo,
en la previda a menos mil de nuestros padres.
La tierra giró musicalmente
llevándonos a bordo;
no cesó de girar un solo instante,
como si tanto amor, tanto milagro
sólo fuera un adagio hace mucho ya escrito
entre las partituras del Simposio.
giró sobre sí misma y en nosotros,
hasta juntarnos por fin en este sueño,
como fue escrito en el Simposio.
Pasaron noches, nieves y solsticios;
pasó el tiempo en minutos y milenios.
Una carreta que iba para Nínive
llegó a Nebraska.
Un gallo cantó lejos del mundo,
en la previda a menos mil de nuestros padres.
La tierra giró musicalmente
llevándonos a bordo;
no cesó de girar un solo instante,
como si tanto amor, tanto milagro
sólo fuera un adagio hace mucho ya escrito
entre las partituras del Simposio.
5 Şubat 2014 Çarşamba
TruthCatcher Legacy Part VI: Dawn
"Sacrifice is necessary. Without sacrifice, nothing can be attained.
But if there is anything in the world that people do not understand it is the idea of sacrifice. They think they have to sacrifice something that they have. For example, I once said that they must sacrifice "faith", "tranquility", or "health." All these words must be taken in quotation marks. In actual fact, they have to sacrifice only what they imagine they have, and which in reality they do not have. They must sacrifice their fantasies. This is difficult for them, very difficult. It is much easier to sacrifice real things.
Another thing that people must give up is their suffering.
It is very difficult also to sacrifice one's suffering. A man will renounce any pleasure you like but he will not give up his suffering. Man is made in such a way that he is never so attached to anything as he is to his suffering. And it is necessary to be free from suffering. No one who is not free from suffering, who has not sacrificed his suffering, can work. Nothing can be attained without suffering but at the same time, one must begin by sacrificing suffering."
Sacred Datacron of the First Ones
The end was near.
"I am lying next to a statue of a man holding a spear and a shield. An old priest prays in front of me and I somehow understand that the statue is an image of an ancient god named "Mitra". 'Such a weird realm and its weird gods' I whisper to myself. 'I am finally over with you. The end is near.'"
"I am watching the lake silently. It is so silent here. Only the cooling desert and the stars shining magnificently above. I look at the tiled bricks near the hut I have built with my own hands. I feel proud and peaceful. But still.. Still there is something missing. Still it feels like it will all end very soon."
'How long had I been unconscious? What happened to me?' Then I saw Revan throwing a killing strike at Su Jena and the next moment she was on lying on the ground. No! I cried. No! Then a fire raised inside me starting at my feet burning through up. A rage I never felt before. A desire to reach through the Force and smash the mask on the man's face, tearing his eyes with my own hands, rip off his heart and smash it under my feet.
Then it passed away as it came. I dropped my lightsaber.
'I remember this scene..' I whispered to the silent figure standing before me. Kneeling before Su Jena I hugged her and started to cry.
'Yes, I do remember it. It will be my face behind that mask.'
'I am the Guardian of the Gate. I killed Su Jena.'
...
'Well done, my dear little brother. I have always been fascinated by your foolish ways and yet find it more amazing how unstoppable you are in those ways."
'Naen. Is that really you?'
'Come, brother. You knocked the door and it is time that it'd be opened for you.'
'But Su Jena.. I cannot leave her. Not like this!'
'Ah.. Is that so? Hımm.. But, my dear fool. There is no Su Jena. There has never been..'
'What?! What by the Stars are you talking about?'
'There has never been a Su Jena. This place is not really what you think. You are not really what you are.'
'Oh, I get it. This is another test. I must have been passed out and dreaming all this. You are not real.'
'Really? And you are real, Arckturus. The brighest star in the constellation Boötes. Right?" He had that smile on his face I knew too well. That damned, beautiful smile of him. Lord, I missed him so much..
"Ok, I should talk about this briefly; you are not in the body but encompass/envelop it while being present in another invisible body which consists of similar elements to the Soul (which is you) yet this invisible body is entangled with this plane (this is very important for you to understand) and connects with the visible body through energies transmitted by the invisible body to the mouse, keyboard, display and areas in the H.A.L, hence we (as Souls) may control the body and it's functions, making us experience this realm. Souls are dual, meaning you are also somewhere else, waiting to be united in another realm."
"Mouse.. What in the worlds is that!?'
not to be continued-
But if there is anything in the world that people do not understand it is the idea of sacrifice. They think they have to sacrifice something that they have. For example, I once said that they must sacrifice "faith", "tranquility", or "health." All these words must be taken in quotation marks. In actual fact, they have to sacrifice only what they imagine they have, and which in reality they do not have. They must sacrifice their fantasies. This is difficult for them, very difficult. It is much easier to sacrifice real things.
Another thing that people must give up is their suffering.
It is very difficult also to sacrifice one's suffering. A man will renounce any pleasure you like but he will not give up his suffering. Man is made in such a way that he is never so attached to anything as he is to his suffering. And it is necessary to be free from suffering. No one who is not free from suffering, who has not sacrificed his suffering, can work. Nothing can be attained without suffering but at the same time, one must begin by sacrificing suffering."
Sacred Datacron of the First Ones
The end was near.
"I am lying next to a statue of a man holding a spear and a shield. An old priest prays in front of me and I somehow understand that the statue is an image of an ancient god named "Mitra". 'Such a weird realm and its weird gods' I whisper to myself. 'I am finally over with you. The end is near.'"
"I am watching the lake silently. It is so silent here. Only the cooling desert and the stars shining magnificently above. I look at the tiled bricks near the hut I have built with my own hands. I feel proud and peaceful. But still.. Still there is something missing. Still it feels like it will all end very soon."
'How long had I been unconscious? What happened to me?' Then I saw Revan throwing a killing strike at Su Jena and the next moment she was on lying on the ground. No! I cried. No! Then a fire raised inside me starting at my feet burning through up. A rage I never felt before. A desire to reach through the Force and smash the mask on the man's face, tearing his eyes with my own hands, rip off his heart and smash it under my feet.
Then it passed away as it came. I dropped my lightsaber.
'I remember this scene..' I whispered to the silent figure standing before me. Kneeling before Su Jena I hugged her and started to cry.
'Yes, I do remember it. It will be my face behind that mask.'
'I am the Guardian of the Gate. I killed Su Jena.'
...
'Well done, my dear little brother. I have always been fascinated by your foolish ways and yet find it more amazing how unstoppable you are in those ways."
'Naen. Is that really you?'
'Come, brother. You knocked the door and it is time that it'd be opened for you.'
'But Su Jena.. I cannot leave her. Not like this!'
'Ah.. Is that so? Hımm.. But, my dear fool. There is no Su Jena. There has never been..'
'What?! What by the Stars are you talking about?'
'There has never been a Su Jena. This place is not really what you think. You are not really what you are.'
'Oh, I get it. This is another test. I must have been passed out and dreaming all this. You are not real.'
'Really? And you are real, Arckturus. The brighest star in the constellation Boötes. Right?" He had that smile on his face I knew too well. That damned, beautiful smile of him. Lord, I missed him so much..
"Ok, I should talk about this briefly; you are not in the body but encompass/envelop it while being present in another invisible body which consists of similar elements to the Soul (which is you) yet this invisible body is entangled with this plane (this is very important for you to understand) and connects with the visible body through energies transmitted by the invisible body to the mouse, keyboard, display and areas in the H.A.L, hence we (as Souls) may control the body and it's functions, making us experience this realm. Souls are dual, meaning you are also somewhere else, waiting to be united in another realm."
"Mouse.. What in the worlds is that!?'
not to be continued-
3 Şubat 2014 Pazartesi
Tor
Oradaydım.
Bir otel odasında..
Çayın sütle içildiği diyarlarda..
Yolculuk. Ve evet..
Keşke hiç unutmadım diyebilseydim..
Kadehlerdeki dudak izlerini bir nostalji tadında izlediğim hayatımın bu son demlerinde..
İyi ki dedirten bir ziyaret..
Masallardan fırlama binbir kokulu büyülü bir bahçe..
Zaman ve mekanın sınırlarını allak bullak edercesine ciğerlerime işleyen. O yer..
Uyan..
Bir otel odasında..
Çayın sütle içildiği diyarlarda..
Yolculuk. Ve evet..
Keşke hiç unutmadım diyebilseydim..
Kadehlerdeki dudak izlerini bir nostalji tadında izlediğim hayatımın bu son demlerinde..
İyi ki dedirten bir ziyaret..
Masallardan fırlama binbir kokulu büyülü bir bahçe..
Zaman ve mekanın sınırlarını allak bullak edercesine ciğerlerime işleyen. O yer..
Uyan..
30 Ocak 2014 Perşembe
TruthCatcher Legacy Part V: Fall of the Guardian
"Those without the gate frequently question the wisdom and right of the occultist to guard his knowledge by the imposition of oaths of secrecy. We are so accustomed to see the scientist give his beneficent discoveries freely to all mankind that we feel that humanity is wronged and defrauded if any knowledge be kept secret by its discoverers and not at once made available for all who desire to share in it.
The knowledge is reserved in order that humanity may be protected from its abuse at the hands of the unscrupulous. Anyone who understands the nature of the Secret Science and the powers it bestows will see the need for such precaution."
Sacred Datacron of the First Ones
All was falling apart.
The first explosion had hit me while I was trying to reach the second floor of the ancient building. It threw me off my feet. For a while I couldn't see. I couldn't hear. I couldn't feel.
The second explosion brought me back to my senses. But still I could barely see. And this strange dumbness on my face and my right hand. Oh, by the Stars. So much pain. And Enif? Where was she? Oh, No. Please, no.
Then I've seen her at the bottom of the stairs. She was lying unconscious and a few ugly creatures were moving towards her. No, I cried trying to sit up. I will not let you touch her! I reached through the Force and pushed the first group away. But there were so many of them. Throwing my lightsaber to the ugliest and biggest one whom I sensed to be the leader of the herd I drained the last strength left in my veins and leapt down the stairs. I covered her body with mine praying my armour could absorb the coming shock that I was sensing. Then came the third explosion. Flames swept over us swallowing everything above. I raised my head and checked the second floor entrance. It looked clear for the moment. There was blood all over Enif. She had been cut severely and lost already too much blood. I had to make a choice. Blast it! Giving up the last hope of reaching the gate I took Enif in my arms and turned back to face the exit. Hold on, my dear friend, I whispered to her ear. A Sith is best at surviving after all, huh? Stay with me. I will not give up on you yet. Keep breathing. Just keep breathing.
Suddenly I sensed 2 familiar figures approaching in the Force. Su Jena and.. Master Shayleen! The Force had finally smiled on me at the last minute. Master Shayleen was the legendary healer amoung the Jedi. There were rumours that she could even turn dead Bantha back to life.
'Master!' I cried. 'Please, help her. She is barely breathing'.
Master Shayleen had that serious look on her face which could only mean one of the kids tonight would get the most boring meditation punishment before going to bed.
'What are you up to again, my very young apprentice?' She queried while trying to get a close look at Enif.
'Trouble, what else could it be?' said Su Jena mocking. 'Oh, a pureblood Sith! What in the name of crushing black holes you're doing with a Sith assasin, Arck?!' She turned to me with fiery eyes and then saw me clearly for the first time. 'Arck..' Dropping her mocking tone she reached to touch my arm. 'Oh, Arck, what happened to.. Your face.." For a moment she looked like that little sweet girl I knew back in the old good days, ready to cry at any moment.
'It's ok, Su' I said touching slightly my right empty eye socket. 'I don't feel anything.' I turned to face Master Shayleen. 'Master, she saved my life many times. I trust in your judgment. Please, do your best for her. I need to go back. This is the best chance I could ever get to reach the gate. I feel so close to it.'
'What?!' interrupted, Su Jena. 'How could you still be thinking of going back?!'
'Stay out of this, Su' I replied calmly. 'I have to finish what I have started. Master Shayleen will understand me. Please, Master.'
Master Shayleen held her gaze deep in my eyes for almost an eternity and then sighed: 'Ok, young one. You have come this far. It is not fair to stop someone who has so much faith and determination to reach a goal. And quite an honorable one seeking the Truth is. But beware! Truth usually comes with a tremendous burden. So few were able to endure it in our known history. Come closer now, let me have a look on you'. Then She took a deep breath and touched my forehead with her right hand. 'May the Force heal your wounds.'
I felt The Force streaming through her fingers into my body and my soul. It felt so good. In less than 9 seconds I had started to feel like reborned. Fresh and ready for whatever dangers still awaiting.
'Thank you, Master.' I whispered.
Now it was time to face the last obstacle on my way. The Oracle in Alderaan had mentioned about an invincible warrior guarding the gate. Well, we were about to see how invincible he was.
I reached the top floor without further event. Here the interior had been designed as a reversed pyramid with a cap. On each corner there was a huge statue of a human male or female body but the head part resembling some strange unknown species. I could see a dim light on the other side of the hall.
'This is the funniest bird I've ever seen. Reminds me Master Kiwilik in a way, though. Heh heh.'
'Blast!
'Su, what in the 9 moons are you doing here?! You should have stayed with Master Shayleen. It is too dangerous here.'
I paused a moment and then added: 'And by the way, that's not a bird, how many birds you've seen so far having a <you know what>?!'
She couldn't help blushing. 'Arck! You are so mean !!'
'Peh, if you do not leave now, you will see how mean I could be when I talk about this little incident with Master Kiwilik'
I had this cruel smile on my already deformed face.
'Shut up!!' She countered. 'I may not be as useful as your charming Sith friend but I am not going anywhere without you and you know that very well. So instead of wasting more time I suggest we move on, shall we?'
'Oh, I keep forgetting how stubborn you sometimes could be. But you'll regret this I tell you. Wait till we return...'
We both felt it.
A disturbance in the Force. A very strong one.
'Watch your step, Su. This must be the Guardian of the Gate.'
The door at the other side of the hall opened up slowly and a tall dark figure emerged from the shadows.
'But.. That mask.. No, it cannot be. He couldn't be. How so..'
'Revan' Su Jena cried out.
'Holy Stars!!!'
to be continued-
The knowledge is reserved in order that humanity may be protected from its abuse at the hands of the unscrupulous. Anyone who understands the nature of the Secret Science and the powers it bestows will see the need for such precaution."
Sacred Datacron of the First Ones
All was falling apart.
The first explosion had hit me while I was trying to reach the second floor of the ancient building. It threw me off my feet. For a while I couldn't see. I couldn't hear. I couldn't feel.
The second explosion brought me back to my senses. But still I could barely see. And this strange dumbness on my face and my right hand. Oh, by the Stars. So much pain. And Enif? Where was she? Oh, No. Please, no.
Then I've seen her at the bottom of the stairs. She was lying unconscious and a few ugly creatures were moving towards her. No, I cried trying to sit up. I will not let you touch her! I reached through the Force and pushed the first group away. But there were so many of them. Throwing my lightsaber to the ugliest and biggest one whom I sensed to be the leader of the herd I drained the last strength left in my veins and leapt down the stairs. I covered her body with mine praying my armour could absorb the coming shock that I was sensing. Then came the third explosion. Flames swept over us swallowing everything above. I raised my head and checked the second floor entrance. It looked clear for the moment. There was blood all over Enif. She had been cut severely and lost already too much blood. I had to make a choice. Blast it! Giving up the last hope of reaching the gate I took Enif in my arms and turned back to face the exit. Hold on, my dear friend, I whispered to her ear. A Sith is best at surviving after all, huh? Stay with me. I will not give up on you yet. Keep breathing. Just keep breathing.
Suddenly I sensed 2 familiar figures approaching in the Force. Su Jena and.. Master Shayleen! The Force had finally smiled on me at the last minute. Master Shayleen was the legendary healer amoung the Jedi. There were rumours that she could even turn dead Bantha back to life.
'Master!' I cried. 'Please, help her. She is barely breathing'.
Master Shayleen had that serious look on her face which could only mean one of the kids tonight would get the most boring meditation punishment before going to bed.
'What are you up to again, my very young apprentice?' She queried while trying to get a close look at Enif.
'Trouble, what else could it be?' said Su Jena mocking. 'Oh, a pureblood Sith! What in the name of crushing black holes you're doing with a Sith assasin, Arck?!' She turned to me with fiery eyes and then saw me clearly for the first time. 'Arck..' Dropping her mocking tone she reached to touch my arm. 'Oh, Arck, what happened to.. Your face.." For a moment she looked like that little sweet girl I knew back in the old good days, ready to cry at any moment.
'It's ok, Su' I said touching slightly my right empty eye socket. 'I don't feel anything.' I turned to face Master Shayleen. 'Master, she saved my life many times. I trust in your judgment. Please, do your best for her. I need to go back. This is the best chance I could ever get to reach the gate. I feel so close to it.'
'What?!' interrupted, Su Jena. 'How could you still be thinking of going back?!'
'Stay out of this, Su' I replied calmly. 'I have to finish what I have started. Master Shayleen will understand me. Please, Master.'
Master Shayleen held her gaze deep in my eyes for almost an eternity and then sighed: 'Ok, young one. You have come this far. It is not fair to stop someone who has so much faith and determination to reach a goal. And quite an honorable one seeking the Truth is. But beware! Truth usually comes with a tremendous burden. So few were able to endure it in our known history. Come closer now, let me have a look on you'. Then She took a deep breath and touched my forehead with her right hand. 'May the Force heal your wounds.'
I felt The Force streaming through her fingers into my body and my soul. It felt so good. In less than 9 seconds I had started to feel like reborned. Fresh and ready for whatever dangers still awaiting.
'Thank you, Master.' I whispered.
Now it was time to face the last obstacle on my way. The Oracle in Alderaan had mentioned about an invincible warrior guarding the gate. Well, we were about to see how invincible he was.
I reached the top floor without further event. Here the interior had been designed as a reversed pyramid with a cap. On each corner there was a huge statue of a human male or female body but the head part resembling some strange unknown species. I could see a dim light on the other side of the hall.
'This is the funniest bird I've ever seen. Reminds me Master Kiwilik in a way, though. Heh heh.'
'Blast!
'Su, what in the 9 moons are you doing here?! You should have stayed with Master Shayleen. It is too dangerous here.'
I paused a moment and then added: 'And by the way, that's not a bird, how many birds you've seen so far having a <you know what>?!'
She couldn't help blushing. 'Arck! You are so mean !!'
'Peh, if you do not leave now, you will see how mean I could be when I talk about this little incident with Master Kiwilik'
I had this cruel smile on my already deformed face.
'Shut up!!' She countered. 'I may not be as useful as your charming Sith friend but I am not going anywhere without you and you know that very well. So instead of wasting more time I suggest we move on, shall we?'
'Oh, I keep forgetting how stubborn you sometimes could be. But you'll regret this I tell you. Wait till we return...'
We both felt it.
A disturbance in the Force. A very strong one.
'Watch your step, Su. This must be the Guardian of the Gate.'
The door at the other side of the hall opened up slowly and a tall dark figure emerged from the shadows.
'But.. That mask.. No, it cannot be. He couldn't be. How so..'
'Revan' Su Jena cried out.
'Holy Stars!!!'
to be continued-
27 Ocak 2014 Pazartesi
Huzursuz
Barın
kapısına sol eliyle sertçe vurup içeri giren genç bir adam
görürüz ilk sahnede. Dışarıda hafif bir yağmur yağmaktadır,
içeriye anlamsız bir bakış atıp barmenin önündeki bir tabureye
bırakır kendini genç adam. İlgiyle bakar barmen tuhaf siyah
şapkanın gölgesinden içine işleyen kahverengi gözlere. Ürperir
hafifçe.
“Buyrun”
der.
“Ne
alırsınız?”
“Votka”
der genç adam.
“varsa
limon ve buz”
Uzunca
bir süre sessizce oturur genç adam. Bir şarkı duyulmaktadır
içeriden ağır aksak
“Nargilenin
dumanına benzer hayallerim.
Sadece beni zehirler ve uçup
gider.
Kafilelere benzer insanlar,
bazen seni seyreder ve
giderler..”
Sessizliği
bozmaya karar verir aniden, uzatır elini barın üzerinden
”Çağdaş”
“Arif”
der barmen.
“Memnun
oldum”
“Ben
de”
“İlk
defa geliyorsunuz buraya galiba”
“Evet,
genelde caddenin yukarısındaki pub a takılırım, bugün fena
kalabalıktı”
Yeni
bir müşteri kazandığına sevinip sevinmemekte kararsızdır
barmen Arif, genç adam ilgisini çekmiştir çekmesine de, bir de şu
siyah şapkanın ardındaki tedirgin edici gözler olmasa.
“Bildiğim
bir Arif var” der aniden genç adam, “Ahmed Arif”. Sonra tuhaf
bir şey olur, siyah şapkalı genç bir adam gecenin geç bir
vaktinde, duvarlarında 70 lerden 80 lerden kalma rock pop
ikonlarının posterleri olan bir barda Ahmed Arif ten bir şiir
okumaya başlar.
"Doğdun,
Üç gün aç tuttuk
Üç gün meme vermedik sana
Adiloş Bebem,
Hasta düşmeyesin diye,
Töremiz böyle diye,
Saldır şimdi memeye,
Saldır da büyü"
Üç gün aç tuttuk
Üç gün meme vermedik sana
Adiloş Bebem,
Hasta düşmeyesin diye,
Töremiz böyle diye,
Saldır şimdi memeye,
Saldır da büyü"
Uzunca
bir sessizlik olur barın o tarafında. İnsanlar susmuş, siyah
şapkalı tuhaf genç adama bakmaktadır. Hiç oralı görünmeyen
genç adamın aksine bakışlardan oldukça rahatsız olan Barmen
Arif hızlıca yukarıdaki bira bardaklarından birine uzanır.
Ve
birden cam bardak daha Arif ne olduğunu anlamadan onun ve siyah
şapkalı genç adamın gözleri önünde patlar. Her şey çok hızlı
bir biçimde olup bitmiş, Arif şaşkınlıkla elindeki yarım bira
bardağına bakmaktadır. İçeriye girdiğinden beri her şeye
şaşırtıcı bir biçimde ilgisiz kalmayı başarabilen genç adam
ilk defa ilgiyle bakmaktadır yarım cam bardağa.
Sonra
kırılan sadece bardak değil de Arif'le genç adam arasındaki
buzlarmış gibi yarım saat kadar sohbet ederler ateşten,
yağmurdan. Ayrılma zamanı geldiğinde hesabın olması gerekenin
yarısı kadar olduğunu görür genç adam, Arif''le bakışırlar
sessizce. Şapkasının ucuna hafifçe dokunup teşekkür eder. Dışarıda yağmur hızını artırmıştır. Kapının önünde
kısa bir an ceketine sıkıca sarılır ve çıkar.
Bir
sonraki sahnede araba farlarının aydınlattığı geniş bir
caddenin kıyısında yürüdüğünü görürüz genç adamın.
Yağmur altında kendi kendine konuşmakta, hızlıca yanından gelip
geçenlere dönüp bir şeyler saçmalamaktadır.
Güneşe
koşmalısın
Şimdi
koşmalısın
Geriye
dönüşün hiç bir zaman mümkün olmayacağını
bilerek
ve dinleyerek
şehrin
karanlığına tünemiş kargaların çığlıklarını
güneşe
koşmalısın
şimdi
koşmalısın
ileriye
baktığında göreceğin tek şeyin
sonsuz
bir doğru olacağını bilerek ve görerek
ufkun
göklere ve yerlere başkaldırışını
betona
çarpacağını bilerek
dişlerinin
ellerine döküleceğini
Güneşe
koşmalısın
Şimdi
koşmalısın
Garip
der kendi kendine caddenin köşesinde beklemekte olan yaşlı seyyar
satıcı. İnsanların ne dediğini duyması imkansız bu kadar
gürültünün ortasında. Hem duysalar da umursamazlar ki.
Son
karede diz çöktüğünü görürüz genç adamın caddenin
ortasında. Yanından gelip geçen arabaların kornalarına
aldırmadan, yağmur damlalarının ellerinin arasından akıp
gidişini seyretmektedir.
"Bu
da sıyırmış besbelli" der ihtiyar seyyar satıcı.
Sanki
bir daha hiç yağmayacağının müjdesini veren öfkeli bir yağmur
altında siyah şapkalı genç bir adam hıçkıra hıçkıra
ağlamaktadır.
***
Kamera
Beyoğlu tünele yakın rengarenk bir mağazanın önünde beklemekte
olan yirmili yaşlarının ortasında bakımlı ve güzel bir kadına
odaklanır.
"Yapabilirim"
der kendi kendine belki de 21.defa genç kadın.
"Yapabilirim".
İçeri
girip girmemekte kararsızdır. Tam o esnada telefonu çalmaya
başlar. Arayan Selin'dir. 5 dakika içinde orada olacağını haber
vermektedir.
İki
blok ötedeki kitapçıdan yayılan müziğe kulak verir genç kadın.
"I don’t wanna die,
But I ain’t keen on living
either.
Before I fall in love,
I’m preparing to leave her.
I scare myself to death,
That’s why I keep on running.
Before I’ve arrived, I can
see myself coming."
Hayatında artık bir şeylerin
eksikliğini fazlasıyla hissettiği bir döneme girmekte olduğunun
farkındadır genç kadın. Üniversitedeki kariyer hayallerinin bir
çoğunun gerçek hayatta hiç bir karşılığı olmadığını
anlamaya başlamıştır. Tırmanacak bir mucize duvarnın eksiklğini
hissetmektedir tüm varlığıyla.
Düşünceleri uzaklara, geçmişin
gölgelerine kayar.
Uzak bir diyarda, uçsuz
bucaksız bozkırın, tek bir buluta dahi şahit olmayan masmavi bir
gökyüzüne bakan, yemyesil bir karpuz tarlasının ortasında küçük
bir kız çocuğu silahını doğrultmuş kocaman kırmızı bir
şapkanın altında kaybolmuş oğlan çocuğuna ateş etmektedir.
"Dan dan ! Vurdum seni !"
Abartılı bir tavırla kendi
ekseni etrafında döner çocuk, elini kalbine götürüp haykırır,
"vuruldum, ah anneciğim,
vuruldum !
Önce şapka yuvarlanır, sonra
çocuk düşer. Güneş tepede parıldamakta, kız çocuğu sabırla
kalkmasını beklemektedir kırmızı şapkalı minik kovboyun.
Dakikalar geçer, hiç bir
kıpırdama olmaz. Bekler küçük kız çocuğu, parıldayan
güneşin, bozkırın serinliğinin, alnından göz kapaklarına
süzülen tuzlu ter damlacıklarının farkında olmaksızın.
Bekler..
Bileğinde ani buz gibi bir
kavrayış kendine getirir genç kadını.
"Bakayım ablacığımın
falına, söyleyeyim kısmetini emencicik, güzel ablacım"
Şaşırmış, korkmakla
öfkelenmek arasında gidip gelmekte olan genç kadın kurtarmaya
çalışır sertçe bileğini,
"Bırak, istemiyorum, bırak
!"
"Aman da ablacım neymişsin
sen böyle, prensesmiş benim güzel ablacım önceki yaşamlarının
birinde, saraylarda, şatolarda yaşarmış ah be ablacım bak işte
bak"
Duraksar genç kadın, yaşlı
çingenenin buruş buruş ellerinde kendisinden beklenmeyecek bir
kuvvetle sıktığı avucundaki çizgilere bakar hiç bir şey
anlamadan.
"Benim bildiğim geleceğe
bakılır fallarda, geçmiş yaşam da ne oluyor, ne biçim falcısın
sen"
Sırıtır yaşlı çingene,
dişsiz damaklarını birbirine vurarak kişnemeye benzer tuhaf bir
ses çıkarır, tiksinir genç kadın uzaklaşmaya çalışır biraz
daha.
"Geçmişi de geleceği de
bilir abe güzel ablacım bu zavallı kardeşin, üç beş kuruş at
da söyleyiversin hemencecik sana kısmetini, bir yemek parası ha,
benim güzeller güzeli ablacım"
Biraz da hemen kurtulmak isteğiyle
çıkarır üç beş kuruş sıkıştırır buruşuk ellere genç
kadın, dönüp gitmeye hazırlanırken tam birden tuhaf bir şey
olur, sesi değişiverir yaşlı çingenin ve sözcükler dökülmeye
başlar tüyler ürpertici bir çınlamayla.
"Genç
bir adam görüyorum, kalbini çalmaya niyetli besbelli. Onuru söz
konusu olduğunda tahtına sırt çevirebilecek bir kralın yüreğine
sahip"
"Yüreğine
dokunmasına izin vermemelisin. Bir Tanrıçanın mührünü taşıyor
bu genç adam, ağır bir yük var omuzlarında çok uzun süredir."
"Kalbinin
sesine kapa kulaklarını, uzak dur ondan. Uzak dur !!"
Hızla çeker ellerini yaşlı
çingene, arkasını dönüp topallaya topallaya koşmaya başlar,
karşısına çıkan ilk ara sokağa saparak.
Bir süre sessiz kalır genç
kadın. Sol avucundaki çizgilere bakar anlamsızca. Silkinir sonra
umursamaz bir tavırla, Selin karşıdan gülerek ona yaklaşırken
unutuvermiştir çoktan yaşlı çingenin saçmasapan kehanetlerini.
Beyoğlunda bir öğle vakti
kahkahalarla gülmektedir iki genç kadın, etraflarından akan
kalabalığa hiç aldırış etmeksizin...
23 Ocak 2014 Perşembe
TruthCatcher Legacy Part IV: Uttegae
"About mastering the game.
How does one know they have mastered it?
Does someone else tell them?
See, if the 'master' is not really a master yet he acts like one it will mean he will make errors.
He will have flawed thoughts and act accordingly.
People will start listening to him and adopt the flawed opinions and way of living.....eventually he will do more harm than 1 bloodline actually has the power to do personally.
Hence why 'leaders' have been created for you who 'have mastered their game'."
Sacred Datacron of the First Ones
She was amazing.
Whirling, jumping, turning, cutting horizantally, vertically, diagonally. So smooth. So swift. So exceptional. In less than 22 seconds she had executed all 13 imperial guards and the glorious Sith Emperor was lying before me unconsciouss.
'The relic did its job quite well, I see' She grinned.
Good Lord, she didn't even show any sign of fatigue!..
'It did, indeed.' I smiled back touching the little purple shining stone on my left wrist. 'His excellency will not be able to have his roasted Jedi for dinner tonight'.
I leaned over him and searched for the atlantean orb in his robes' inner pockets.
'Here, it is!' I exclaimed. 'We are ready to open the portal, now.'
She stared at the slightly glowing green orb on my hands. 'Hımm, ok then, Arck. I leave the honour of finishing him to you. Make it quick and clean.'
I turned and looked at her deep sparkling red eyes; 'I do not have any intention of doing such a thing'.
She turned slightly and stared at me with awe. 'Is that so? Well, as you wish. I will do it, then'. She raised her double-bladed saber to hit him.
'No, Enif. You will not.' I jumped between her and the lying man holding her arm. 'We got what we want. Time to leave, now'.
She was quite taken aback.
'What the fuck?! Take your damned hands off me, Jedi. Before you lose them!!'
I felt a chill moving down on my spine.
'Ok, calm down now. I know what your assassin instincts tell you at the moment. But it is time to leave those instincts behind and start using your intuition instead. You have to understand that killing him will not change anything at all but may even make things worse. You see he is nothing but a puppet whose strings are pulled by some unknown higher power.'
For a long moment she locked her eyes on me. And I thought may be it is over this time. Now she will cut me in half and walk over my body. But it happened again. It happened just like in Tatooine six months ago where I had first met her fighting my way through the lines of hostile desert thugs to get the legendary relic I needed to use against the famous deadly lightning attack of the emperor. She looked into my eyes and I again caught a glimpse of light with an unexpected warmth in her eyes. And she quietly lowered her saber.
'You are making a huge mistake, Arckturus. I imagine even your Jedi Masters will be mad at you letting this man walk away like this. Not a man actually, a monster who can destroy all life of an entire planet without hesitation.'
'No, they will not. That is one of the first things we learn at the academy. A jedi does not take the life of a living being unless it is absolutely necessary. As long as there exist life, there will be hope. Even for the dark emperor.'
'But enough talking. We have to move. All hell will break loose soon. We need to reach the 42th gate in aproximately 7 hours in order to be able to open the portal to the Ring.'
I gave a last look at the old man harmlessly lying on the ground before me. I was desperately hoping that I had made the right choice.
'Godspeed you black emperor' I whispered as we left the place.
to be continued-
How does one know they have mastered it?
Does someone else tell them?
See, if the 'master' is not really a master yet he acts like one it will mean he will make errors.
He will have flawed thoughts and act accordingly.
People will start listening to him and adopt the flawed opinions and way of living.....eventually he will do more harm than 1 bloodline actually has the power to do personally.
Hence why 'leaders' have been created for you who 'have mastered their game'."
Sacred Datacron of the First Ones
She was amazing.
Whirling, jumping, turning, cutting horizantally, vertically, diagonally. So smooth. So swift. So exceptional. In less than 22 seconds she had executed all 13 imperial guards and the glorious Sith Emperor was lying before me unconsciouss.
'The relic did its job quite well, I see' She grinned.
Good Lord, she didn't even show any sign of fatigue!..
'It did, indeed.' I smiled back touching the little purple shining stone on my left wrist. 'His excellency will not be able to have his roasted Jedi for dinner tonight'.
I leaned over him and searched for the atlantean orb in his robes' inner pockets.
'Here, it is!' I exclaimed. 'We are ready to open the portal, now.'
She stared at the slightly glowing green orb on my hands. 'Hımm, ok then, Arck. I leave the honour of finishing him to you. Make it quick and clean.'
I turned and looked at her deep sparkling red eyes; 'I do not have any intention of doing such a thing'.
She turned slightly and stared at me with awe. 'Is that so? Well, as you wish. I will do it, then'. She raised her double-bladed saber to hit him.
'No, Enif. You will not.' I jumped between her and the lying man holding her arm. 'We got what we want. Time to leave, now'.
She was quite taken aback.
'What the fuck?! Take your damned hands off me, Jedi. Before you lose them!!'
I felt a chill moving down on my spine.
'Ok, calm down now. I know what your assassin instincts tell you at the moment. But it is time to leave those instincts behind and start using your intuition instead. You have to understand that killing him will not change anything at all but may even make things worse. You see he is nothing but a puppet whose strings are pulled by some unknown higher power.'
For a long moment she locked her eyes on me. And I thought may be it is over this time. Now she will cut me in half and walk over my body. But it happened again. It happened just like in Tatooine six months ago where I had first met her fighting my way through the lines of hostile desert thugs to get the legendary relic I needed to use against the famous deadly lightning attack of the emperor. She looked into my eyes and I again caught a glimpse of light with an unexpected warmth in her eyes. And she quietly lowered her saber.
'You are making a huge mistake, Arckturus. I imagine even your Jedi Masters will be mad at you letting this man walk away like this. Not a man actually, a monster who can destroy all life of an entire planet without hesitation.'
'No, they will not. That is one of the first things we learn at the academy. A jedi does not take the life of a living being unless it is absolutely necessary. As long as there exist life, there will be hope. Even for the dark emperor.'
'But enough talking. We have to move. All hell will break loose soon. We need to reach the 42th gate in aproximately 7 hours in order to be able to open the portal to the Ring.'
I gave a last look at the old man harmlessly lying on the ground before me. I was desperately hoping that I had made the right choice.
'Godspeed you black emperor' I whispered as we left the place.
to be continued-
21 Ocak 2014 Salı
20 Ocak 2014 Pazartesi
TruthCatcher Legacy Part III: Terror of the Situation
"Love, it is not to be understood in human terms which humans are enslaved by. That is the corrupt version of the real one. If you observe closely you will see we merely spreading the tools which can be used by you to free yourself or chain yourself, your choice.
The Divine Law has a purpose for you and it is not on this realm. Prove you are worthy again to be released. The distraction is part of that.
It is about knowing who is and who is not."
Sacred Datacron of the First Ones
'Have you gone completely nuts?' she was staring at me in bewilderment.
'Believe me, that's the only way' I replied calmy. 'At least, the only way I could find out so far'.
'Ok, let me clarify this. You somehow started to believe that you do not belong to this universe. And again somehow you have managed to acquire certain information that there is a way to return back to where you truly belong to. But in order to be able to do it you have to pass through a Ring of Chaos which supposedly enclose our known universe. Moreover, you need the Sith Emperor to help you to do that since he is the only being in this universe who have gone there and was able to come back alive.'
'More or less, yes. I know it sounds a bit crazy but I believe it could be done, with the guidance of the Force, of course".
'A bit crazy ?? Arck, this is insane!! Let alone getting help from Emperor you cannot even get near to the him!
Alive, I mean..'
'Raven did it. And so Malak.'
'Yes, they did. And they fell. Is that really what you want? Is this all about being a hero? A savior of the worlds? And what is that nonsense about not belonging here or there? We are Jedi, we belong where we are needed. And right now the Republic needs you. The Order needs you. Have you forgotten to whom you serve? Do you deny your ideals? Our ideals?
'I remember very well what in truth I do serve. I serve the One. As do everyone/everything else. Su, you know me. I shall not fall. I cannot. Please, try to understand me. If I cannot help myself, how can I help the Republic? If I cannot know myself how can I go after some ideals that imposed in me since I was a little kid? No, there is no way that I could go on with the current way of things. I cannot hide behind this illusion of light and dark. Not anymore. I passed that line long ago. All I see now is shades of gray. Corruption is everywhere. Lies are everywhere. There must be some way out of here. There's too much confusion, so much that I can't get no relief."
'Well, if you think there is corruption and confusion then why don't you start doing something about it? Do you really think that running away like this will help things get better?
This is all about Naen, isn't it? Arck, I miss him too. We all miss him. But you have to accept that he is gone. You have to get over it. Please, return back to Coruscant. Let us help you.'
'No, Su. This is not about Naen. And stop pitying on me. You know how I hate it.
Anyway, it is obvious that this conversation goes nowhere. I will do what I feel I have to. And you will do what you have to do. Thanks for everything you have done for me. May the Force be with you..'
'But I cannot let you go alone on a suicide mission like this. What will be your next step? I will come with you.'
'No, you will not. You will return back to the temple and tell Master Sidniestar that I will come and see him when I feel I am ready. So long, until then.'
'No..'
...
So that's how I left her there in that white-yellow treatment room in Nar Shadaa. At that time she had no doubt that it was the last time she had seen me.
But the Force had other plans for me.
Plans that neither her nor anyone else in the Order can ever imagine.
to be continued-
The Divine Law has a purpose for you and it is not on this realm. Prove you are worthy again to be released. The distraction is part of that.
It is about knowing who is and who is not."
Sacred Datacron of the First Ones
'Have you gone completely nuts?' she was staring at me in bewilderment.
'Believe me, that's the only way' I replied calmy. 'At least, the only way I could find out so far'.
'Ok, let me clarify this. You somehow started to believe that you do not belong to this universe. And again somehow you have managed to acquire certain information that there is a way to return back to where you truly belong to. But in order to be able to do it you have to pass through a Ring of Chaos which supposedly enclose our known universe. Moreover, you need the Sith Emperor to help you to do that since he is the only being in this universe who have gone there and was able to come back alive.'
'More or less, yes. I know it sounds a bit crazy but I believe it could be done, with the guidance of the Force, of course".
'A bit crazy ?? Arck, this is insane!! Let alone getting help from Emperor you cannot even get near to the him!
Alive, I mean..'
'Raven did it. And so Malak.'
'Yes, they did. And they fell. Is that really what you want? Is this all about being a hero? A savior of the worlds? And what is that nonsense about not belonging here or there? We are Jedi, we belong where we are needed. And right now the Republic needs you. The Order needs you. Have you forgotten to whom you serve? Do you deny your ideals? Our ideals?
'I remember very well what in truth I do serve. I serve the One. As do everyone/everything else. Su, you know me. I shall not fall. I cannot. Please, try to understand me. If I cannot help myself, how can I help the Republic? If I cannot know myself how can I go after some ideals that imposed in me since I was a little kid? No, there is no way that I could go on with the current way of things. I cannot hide behind this illusion of light and dark. Not anymore. I passed that line long ago. All I see now is shades of gray. Corruption is everywhere. Lies are everywhere. There must be some way out of here. There's too much confusion, so much that I can't get no relief."
'Well, if you think there is corruption and confusion then why don't you start doing something about it? Do you really think that running away like this will help things get better?
This is all about Naen, isn't it? Arck, I miss him too. We all miss him. But you have to accept that he is gone. You have to get over it. Please, return back to Coruscant. Let us help you.'
'No, Su. This is not about Naen. And stop pitying on me. You know how I hate it.
Anyway, it is obvious that this conversation goes nowhere. I will do what I feel I have to. And you will do what you have to do. Thanks for everything you have done for me. May the Force be with you..'
'But I cannot let you go alone on a suicide mission like this. What will be your next step? I will come with you.'
'No, you will not. You will return back to the temple and tell Master Sidniestar that I will come and see him when I feel I am ready. So long, until then.'
'No..'
...
So that's how I left her there in that white-yellow treatment room in Nar Shadaa. At that time she had no doubt that it was the last time she had seen me.
But the Force had other plans for me.
Plans that neither her nor anyone else in the Order can ever imagine.
to be continued-
Kaydol:
Kayıtlar (Atom)